February 2012
17 posts
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Female Mountie who had Sex on Job an "Incurable... →
I just bought a new phone last week, and one of my favorite features is the news app, which collects top stories from about 5 different Canadian news sources. normally I just scroll the headlines to keep myself updated, but this title immediately grabbed my attention, and I had to read the rest (included as a click-through).
I am unfamiliar with this case, and know only the details presented in...
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NOOO! Tumblr, why did you delete my plaid-man...
Did it depress you how sad and alone I am? Did my tales of NOT dating remind you of an angsty 14-year-old? Or was it the text message rejection that I didn’t even ask for?
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“I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions”
– Augusten Burroughs (via xmen-eunji)
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Conversations With My Mom
Mom: Would you like to share a potato with me and your dad?
Me: What is this, the Irish Famine? No.
Mom: ...It's a very big potato.
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Even my dreams are boring.
I had a dream last night that I was staying home alone for the night, and was walking through my house doing the nightly check (all the doors are locked, lights off, etc). Nothing bizarre happened, but I was absolutely terrified the entire time.
I did, however, thoroughly brush my teeth before hoping into bed.
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January 2012
27 posts
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I just got "adulator" and "adulterer" confused.
It’s too bad I re-read the sentence, because that essay was suddenly starting to get a WHOLE lot more interesting.
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What can Possibly be Worse than Being Dumped?
How about not being dumped. Does that make sense?
Dusty’s girlfriend completely stood him up on Sunday, and then sent him a message yesterday saying “I have been thinking, and we need to talk…”. Dusty was of course devastated, and was dreading meeting her this afternoon. When he got to the bridge for their “talk”, she told him she learned some bad news,...
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Thank goodness, this place is open bar—I am too...
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Glad to Know my Friends Always Have my Back.
Me: I am thinking of changing my major to accounting—every finance major I have ever met is a complete douchebag
K-fist (a finance major): You need us—we help get investors their necessary funds! We make the world go round!
Me: True. I just don’t think I’m cutout for it.
K-fist: Don’t worry, I’ll be your douchebag.
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December 2011
23 posts
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G-nomey's Christmas Present →
6 packs, 9 lives
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